babsbennettandco

Never underestimate the power, the freedom, the peace that comes with just letting go.

Do you deserve that apology? Yes. Does the person or persons the wronged you deserve some sort of cosmic justice? Most certainly. Can you control any of that? Nope. But you can control letting go and it shall set you free. I promise.

And, don’t mistake what I’m saying here: letting go doesn’t mean you necessarily forgive, forget or put yourself in the same situation but it does mean you take back control and keep the wrong from having further control over you. Because if you let a crappy person or painful past or prior betrayal continue to dominate you – then it (or they) continue to win and control. Just let go and put yourself first again. Heal.

Life is short – eat dessert first!!! That’s all!

Ok. So here it is: NEVER EVER make important decisions when you are 1) tired 2) hungry 3) angry or especially 4) HANGRY (the worst possible combination).

Take a breath. Sleep on it (whatever it is). Get some good food into your belly. Then, move forward with the best decision for you. You’ll be glad you waited (and so will others around you).

Whew.

Taking the high road is often a long, lonely journey. Rarely is the trip very satisfying. But once you reach the destination with your kindness and dignity intact – you’ll be so glad you chose that road!

Like – it’s easier to find a rare, bejeweled, talking unicorn in the wild!!

So, this goes along with lesson #3 about how words can hurt. It seems we live in an increasingly mean, hostile, judgmental world – especially on social media.

Do people think they are invisible on social media? Feel emboldened? Say things they’d never say in person? Crazy, right?

So, before you fire off that pithy post or comment on social media or that snarky email when you are frustrated – think twice. Talk (communicate) once. Type that email or letter or response and then sit on it for awhile. Read it back to yourself before you send it. You’ll be glad you did.

You read it.  Nursery rhymes LIE.

What was it we heard when we were kids?  “Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me?”  I’m sure there is a lesson in that and the meaning wasn’t literal because IT. IS. A. LIE.   A lie.

Think back in your history to the actions of others that hurt you the most.  I think we can all remember how we felt when our parent/sibling/spouse/significant other etc… uttered some horribly nasty words to us.  Hopefully they asked for forgiveness and maybe we found it in our hearts to forgive (or at least set boundaries and move on).  But said with enough venom or regularity and those words hurt.  Hurt like hell.  And they stick with us.  They shape us in one way or another.  Maybe we move on (with or without you) and are able to (mostly) quiet those voices, those words.  But, they come back during our most vulnerable times.  And they still hurt.

So, if you are someone who uses words as a weapon or to purge frustration or for whatever excuse you have or need, stop it.  Words hurt.  Don’t use them as weapons.  Be a better person.  And, if you have been hurt over and over again by nasty words….please realize that is on them.  NOT YOU.   It is a failing of the person spewing that garbage.  It’s not a reflection of you.